The New Year is traditionally a busy time for divorce lawyers. Many families pour so much time, effort and money into Christmas, the reality can fail to match up to expectation. Add too much alcohol and too many visiting relatives, and the festive season can start to look like a family disaster waiting to happen.
But couples are being urged to think carefully and try counselling and mediation before rushing to the courts, as marriage breakdown can be damaging both financially and to children.
In the current recession, the mortgage market is affecting couples who split as it is no longer so easy to get a loan to buy property. The one who leaves the family home may have to rent for the foreseeable future.
More importantly, is the potential harm to children caused by divorcing parents - which was highlighted in a recent survey. Of the 4000 divorce cases reviewed, 19% of the children involved said they felt used by one parent or the other; 39% of the children felt isolated and that they had no one to talk to about what was happening; and 38 % of the children never saw their father again following the divorce.
Following the survey, which was commissioned by Mishcon de Reya, the renowned London divorce lawyers who famously sacked their client Heather McCartney, family law experts are calling for compulsory conciliation and counselling before couples can commence divorce proceedings.
They believe that couples should be helped to distinguish between irretrievable breakdown and a temporary rift. And if the outcome is that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, then couples should then be encouraged to look at mediation to resolve issues around finances and the children rather than go to court.
Mediation is quite different from the combat of the courtroom. Each party sits in a separate room with their lawyer and a mediator talks to each of them to find out what is really important. The aim is to get an agreement that both parties can live with.
The big benefit is that each party remains in control, and there is usually a significant saving in time which means a much lower legal bill.
Said Michael Hayes, family law expert of Hove-based lawyers Bunkers: "Mediation is surprisingly effective in cases where emotions can make it difficult to achieve a settlement any other way, for example in family matters or disputes over wills. Often a party may enter into the mediation process with a completely negative attitude and a determination not to concede a single issue, and yet by the end of the day they are happy to accept a compromise that gives them the essentials of what they were seeking."
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